Akpos D Comedian

Akpos has been admiring his
neighbor's
wife. The neighbor's wife always gives
him this seductive smile whenever they
greet each other. Akpos didn't know
how to approach the lady to tell her of his
desires because she's married. So,one
day the lady herself approached
Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPOS:
Hi.
LADY: Hi. AKPOS: Is everything alright?
LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you
(Smiling seductively).
AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel.
LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to
say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask
and you say no.
AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don't have to.
I
am ready to do anything for you.
LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my
husband travelled...
AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when he's around,he
has
some... (pause for a while) he has some
disabilities... AKPOS: Oh poor you... You must have
been going through hell!
LADY: I know you'll be stronger than
him...
AKPOS: Sure.
LADY: Can you help me? AKPOS: Wow! Now? Sure,
I'm ready if
you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks
goodness! that's why I
came to you. Can you help me carry our
deep freezer from our kitchen to the
next street for repairs?
Akpos nearly Cried!!!

During testimony service on Sunday Akpos stood up and
said: Make una join me in thanking and praising Baba GOD for
His blessings αnd upliftment in my life. I tell you guys its
good to have the fear of God and be honest. Last weekend
as I was going home I came across a small bag and I opened
it and behold what I found inside; 20,000 pounds!!!... Fear
first catch me, but I took the bag home and when I emptied
it and found some documents, ID cards, ATM cards and
some phone numbers. One mind told me to call the numbers
and the other told me to throw the documents away and
use the money. I made up my mind and called the numbers
and lucky enough the owner picked up the call. When I told
him about the bag he told me he was the owner and told me
everything that was inside the bag. We had an appointment
and met, I handed his bag back to him and he gave me 2,000
pounds which I rejected and left. Yesterday he called me
and offered me a job worth 750k a month with Chevron, a
3 bedroom flat fully furnished and air conditioned, and a
2012 Toyota Camry. - - - - - As I was smiling and testing
the car I just woke up... kai malaria dream to Bad!!!.

Akpos
who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's
room, drinks his wine
and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga
bought a new wine called
pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour
if water is added onto
it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's
room, drank the new
wine and added water on it. Immediately it
started changing colour.
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the
kitchen. Meanwhile,
Oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while
Akpos was in the
kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw
Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you
say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't
answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't
understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand
beside madam and ask me a question while i stand
here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when
madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey
sneak enter the house girl room when madam no
dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o,
when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I
can't understand anything at all.
How Many Like For Akpos

more pls, u made my day

Adaeze wrote:more pls, u made my day

abie!

hahaha, akpos too smart, nice 1

peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts

osaz wrote:hahaha, akpos too smart, nice 1

yea!

osaz wrote:peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts

my brother i like am liket that oh!

osaz wrote:peter but why u write ur full name as username, not advisable bro abeg, change am or PM naijamotion to change and send u ur desired username.u are a wonderful guy. i like ur posts

my brother i like am liket that oh!

pastor Akpos was caught by his church member in a bar drinking a bottle of
chilled star*beer*. So, the member asked:
Member: Haabaa! Pastor Akpos you should be drinking malt, fanta or coke
not star that is a beer. Your not doing
τђε word you preach o. Pastor Akpos: shatttap jooo, where was malt, fanta and
coke when STAR led the 3 wise men to
Jesus?

Akpors father gave akpors 1k to spend at
school for a full term,when the money
was finished akpors decided to call
hisfather and tell him that the moneywas
finished.. Akpors dialed his father
number.. *Number busy* Akpors kept on trying the numberit keeps on showing
number busy..akpors then went to a
business center,he dialed the number,as
his father picked the call he kept
mute..akpors himself kept mute..after
2mins of silence akpors father changed his voice to answering machine..I Akpors father:Dear customer the number you are
trying to call is currently not available
please try again later.. Akpors:papa..
Akpors father:shut up your dirty
mouth,the number you are trying to call
is not responding.. *Akpors redialed the number as his father picked the
call,akpors quickly said.. Akpors:papa i
know its you,i just want to tell you that
i just won 200 thousand naira in a
competition we did in school,& i want to
send you 100 thousand naira.. Akpors father:dear customer yourcall is very
very important to papa akpors please
hold on at your caller'..

Akpos na sharp guy, good job Peter

Thanks my brov!

Naijamotions wrote:Akpos na sharp guy, good job Peter

check ur pm!

hehehe, akpos wan kill person

yemi wrote:hehehe, akpos wan kill person

@yemi how u dey nah!

@De Gud
who be this funny akpos?

Na ugly boy like that!

can we see akpos picture?

Yes!

Akpors had been promoted to
primary 5 and the teacher
Miss Erimma was going round
asking the pupils addition
questions.
She got to the first boy and
asked "40 + 6" the boy replied
"forty six" "good" teacher
replied and moved on
"yes you, " 50+4" and the
pupil replied "madam fifty
four ".... again good the
teacher remarked
The teacher went round and
round and round till she got
to the last seat occupied the
boy himself Akpors
the teacher asked "yes you,
Akpors, 60 + 10 ?"
Akpors stood up and
stammered " Ma-ma-ma
Madam, its SIXTY TEN"
The teacher miscarried her
8months old pregnancy
instantly

This is Mr. Akpos picture!

kai, see hamsomeness. akpos the fine boy, i hail dee

Mr Akpors ordered for a voice
automated robot car that does
anything he tells it to do
correctly without any error. He got the car and started
sending it on errands. He was so
proud of what the car
can do without mistakes. He was not able to go out on a
day, his wife told him to tell the
car to go and pick the children
from school because she was so tired. Mr Akpors agreed. Mr Akpors: Car, go and bring my
children from school. The car went and didn't return in
time as expected, they knew
something must be
wrong. Several hours later and no car, Mr
Akpors became worried, dressed
up, ready to lodge a report at the
police station. He and his wife just
stepped
outside when they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of
them and said, "These are your
children sir" In the car was their Landlady's
two daughters, their choir mistress
two sons, his wife's best friend's
daughter, their
pastor's son and their neighbours two
sons. Wife: Don't tell me all these ones
are your children? Mr Akpors, nonplussed, calmly
replied.. DEAR,CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOUR
OWN CHILDREN ARE NOT IN THE
CAR??
I NEED SOME EXPLANATION.