naijamotions jokes diary

MY BROS & SIS U WIL NEVA BLIV WHT HAPND 2ME
YSTDY. STILL CNT GET OVA IT. I WNT 2 D SUPER MKT 2
PICK SMTHNG 2 EAT N AS I WS WALKING DWN D ISLE, I
NOTICED DIS MAN STARING AT ME. I LUKED AT HIM N
KEPT WALKING 2D FRONT COUNTER 2PICK BOTTLED
WATER AND GALA. AS I PICKED DEM AND TURNED TO
FIND D SAME MAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I TRIED 2
SHOW HIM SOME LUV, SO I SMILED N SAID "HI" THEN I
WENT ON 2 GET A CAN COKE. CAN U BELIEVE THE
SAME MAN FOLLOWED ME? I WAS GETTING A LITTLE
NERVOUS AND MAD COS HE WAS FOLLOWING ME
WITHOUT SAYING ANYTING. BUT I TRIED TO STAY
FRIENDLY" I JUST SAID "HI" HE FINALLY RESPONDED
AND SAID, "I AM SORRY 4 STARING BUT U LOOK JUST
LIKE MY YOUNGEST SON..WE JUST BURIED HIM 2WKS
AGO. I FELT STUPID 4 GETING MAD AS I EXPRESSED MY
SYMPATHY TO HIM. HE SAID HE WAS FINE AS HE KNOWS
DAT HIS SON IS WITH D LORD. THEN HE ASKED ME TO DO
HIM A FAVOUR. I SAID "IF I CAN". HE SAID HE WAS A BIT
SAD DAT HIS SON NEVA SAID GOODBYE 2 HIM B4
PASSING ON. HE ASKED ME TO GET IN LINE BEHIND HIM &
AS HE LEFT D STORE, I SHOULD SAY "GOODBYE DAD".
SO DAT HE COULD HAVE SOME SENSE OF CLOSURE.
THOUGH HIS REQUEST WAS WEIRD, I HOWEVER AGREED
2 GRANT IT. SO AS HE COLLECTED HIS BAGS FROM D
CASHER AND WALKED AWAY, I SAID "BYE DAD". HE
TURND AND SAID "BYE SON". WHEN THE CASHIER
CALCULATED MY STUFF, SHE SAID THE TOTAL WAS
N6750!!!. I SAID WHAT!!...CAN U TELL ME HOW A BOTTLE
OF N70 WATER, N5O GALA AND N100 CAN COKE
EQUALS N6750?. SHE SAID "YOUR DAD SAID U ARE
PAYING 4 HIS TOO"....MY DAD?, I SHOUTED. DAT MAN IS
NOT MY FATHER OOO!!!". I QUICKLY RUSHED OUT JUST IN
TIME TO SEE THE MAN APPROACHING THE PARKING
LOT. I RAN AFTER HIM AND WAS SCREAMING..."EX CUSE
ME, EXCUSE ME!!!". HE STARTED RUNNING 4 HIS CAR AS
HE SAW ME COMING. I CAUGHT UP WITH HIM JUST B4 HE
WAS ABLE 2 CLOSE D DOOR. I KEPT ON PULLING AND
PULLING HIS LEGS!!! JUST LIKE AM PULLING YOURS NOW!!!
YOU TOO LIKE GIST! C AS U DEY ENJOY DEY READ DEY
GO!!

hehehe, u don suffer be that, as for me i will break his wind screen. good one pal, more pls

nice joke, keep it up

see wahara

keep it rolling in, thats a good one

i will upload more!

aneke peter chukwujekwu wrote:i will upload more!

pls do bro, thanks

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRL
AND
A WOMAN: »Girls search for a
rich man
»Woman search for a caring
and loving man »Girls envy those who
move ahead and
hate the players »Women
share their
knowledge and help others
move ahead by not hating the players but teaching the rules
to
the game. »Girls measures her
man's worth
by the weight of his pocket.
»Women measures her man's worth by
his level of
Wisdom and the fear of God
and how
disciplined he can be towards
his finances. »Girls ending breakup with silly excuses
»Women has endurance
knowing that
everything happen for a
reason »Girls thinks
about present »Women thinks about future
»Girls : love to having many
guys going After
her »Women : knows the law
of demand (Cheap things has
high purchasers) »Girls takes relationship affairs
outside »Women
solve the problem within
Herself and her
partner »Girls demand for money to buy make-Ups »Women demand
for money to
make plans »Girls get hurt by
one man and make all men pay for it. »Women know
that, that was just ONE man.
»A girl is
"learning"...A woman "knows"
»Girls will
read this and get an attitude. »GROWN
WOMEN will read this and pass
it on to
other grown women ,And A
real man will drop a
comment.

A wealthy man who had only
one daughter. When the
daughter was of marriage
age, the father sent news
around town that all the
eligible young men should come to compete in atest
which would determine
whowas fit to marry his
daughter. Onthat set day, all
the able-bodied young men
came out. Some camewith paper and biro and others
with cutlasses and swords.
The rich man took them to his
swimming pool and
addressed the men: “ Any of
you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to
the other would marry my
daughter. In addition, I‘ll give
him $15, a car and a house so
they can start lifewell. I shall
be waiting to meet my son- in-law at the other side. Good
luck!” As the young men,
allvery excited at the
prospect ofwinning, started
taking off their shirts, a
helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and
crocodiles into the pool.
Immediately all the men
turned back and started
wearing their shirts again.
Disappointed, some of them said let d man marry
daughter,i can't enjoy d prize
wen i die o...All of a sudden,
they heard a splash in the
pool. Everybody watched in
amazementas one gentleman struggled his way across,
avoiding the snakes and
crocodiles. Finally, he made it
to the other side. The rich
man couldnot believe it. He
asked the young man to name anything he wanted but the
man was still panting
uncontrollably. Finally, hegot
himself and made a request
saying ” pls someone should
show me the idiot that pushed me inside this
pool”..lolz....
Moral: You don’t know what
you are capable of doing,
until you arePUSHED!!. You
can still make the most out of the rest of the YEAR. Have a
fulfilled week ahead of you. Api new
mnth guyz.

Please read this: This is a real story of a young Ex-Unilag
girl who passed away last month. Her name is Lola. She
was hit by a car at Oyingbo on her way to work at
Apapa. She was working with MTN. She had a boy friend
named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to
Abuja. Both of them were true lovers. She spent half of
the day and most nights talking with Emeka on her phone.
Lola's family knew about their relationship. Emeka was
very close to Lola's family in spite of the tribal
differences. (just imagine their love). Before she passed
away at LUTH, she told her friends "If I pass away,
please bury me with my cell phone" she also said the same
thing to her parents. After her death at LUTH, the
attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary. A
lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't. They went
and called some priests in church who had the gift of
communicating with the dead. He sprinkled some salt and
water on the body and started speaking to himself
slowly. After a few minutes, they said "this girl ????§
missing something". Then her friends told them about her
intention to be buried her with her phone. They asked
them to bring a coffin, and then they opened it and
placed her phone inside the casket. After that they tried
to carry the body. It could now be moved and they carried
it away easily. Everyone was shocked. A day later which
was Lola's birthday, Emeka came to their house with
gifts but was so shocked to receive d news. He couldn't
believe because he still spoke with Lola d previous day, he
then tried calling her phone again in their presence and
behold! It rang nd Lola picked it and they were chatting.
They called d priest to come and intervene nd when he
came and prayed for 5 hours, it was revealed dat MTN is
everywhere u go Chill,, don't hate me yet, cos I'm also
looking for d idiot that sent me dis,so as to strangle
him......lolz. Buh una like gist sha. Api Weekend Guys!

An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother's burial. After
lowering the coffin, the family put yam, rice, meat etc, into
the grave in line with tradition. An hausa man asked why?
The Edo man smiled &said, ccording to our tradition, the
dead go on a long journey & need all the food items they can
get".
The hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said, "when
the food finish, buy more". The yoruba man dropped
N50,000 and said, "add this incase it's not enough".
The Igbo man smiled and brought out his cheque book &
wrote a cheque of N250,000, dropped it in the coffin &
took the N150,000 notes as a change, then said, "Nwanne,
withdraw when you reach dia o...It is going to be a
dangerous journey we don't know how many robbers are
out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy na!
Travel well o!"

LOL

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