Akpos D Comedian

WIFE: If i knew you were this Poor I wouldn't have married you!

AKPOS: What do you think I meant when I said you were the only thing I have in this world?"

repried!

3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they
were
drunk so he started the engine
&
turned it off again. He told them."We have reached
". The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you". The
3rd guy... gave the driver a
slap!! The driver was
shocked,thinkin g the 3rd drunk knew what he
did. But he asked "whats that
for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL
YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!! driver na guy man!

Akpos, a Ghanian, just got admission into one
of the Nigerian institutions.
At the first day of lecture, the following
conversation erupted…..
The Lecturer said, “let’s begin by reviewing
some Nigerian history.”
The Lecturer asked who said, “I shall return to
die in the land of my fathers?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for
Akpos, who had his hand up. Akpos replied:
“King Jaja of Opobo, 1875″”very good!” said
the lecturer.
Then, she asked again, who said, “The land
use act will feed the nation?” Again,
no response except from Akpos: ”Obasanjo ,
1976.”The Lecturer snapped at the class;
“class, you should be ashamed. Akpos, who is
new
to our Country, knows more about our history
than you do.”
The Lecturer heard a
loud whisper:”Ghana
must go”. “who said that?” she demanded,
Akpos put his hand up,”Buhari 1984.” At
that point, a student at the back scornfully
said;”Hmmm, you think you are smart?”
The Lecturer glared and asked; “All right!
Now, who said that?” Again, Akpos
said,”Babangida to
Abiola,1992.” Hmmm, a Student at the back
smilled “I dey laugh ooh” Akpos smiled back
and said Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now
furious,
another student yelled;”Oh yeah! Eat
this!” Akpos jumped out of his chair waving
his hand and
shouting to the Lecturer,”India n
mistress giving an apple to Abacha, 1998″
Now, with almost mob hyseria,
someone said; “You little poo. If you say
anything else, I’ll kill you.” Akpos frantically
yelled at the top of his voice; “Chris Uba to
Ngige,
2004!” The Lecturer
fainted, and as the class gathered around her
on the floor, someone said; “Oh
poo, we’re in Big trouble now!” Akpos
whispered; “Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele
Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007″, Someone
angrily said; “Dont answer him, he is a fool”
Akpos smiled nd replied; “Obansanjo to IBB,
2011″ Now, the Lecturer managed to get up
and asked Akpos; pls, who’re you? Show your
self..
Akpos jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to
BOKOHARAM.

hmmmm!

1. OCHUKO: y are sleepin on top of d wall
clock?
AKPORS: bcos my fada said i shuld wake up
on time
2. EKAITTE: since we started dating, u hardly
smile, y? AKPORS: dat is bcos u said u wanted a serious
relationship
3. OCHUKO: wetin u dey do?
AKPORS: I wan hang myself to death
OCHUKO: y u come tie d rope for ur waist na?
AKPORS: Bros, dat neck own dey pain ooo LMFAO

Teacher Fell Asleep In Class And A Little
Naughty Boy Walked Up To Him, Little Boy : “Teacher Are You Sleeping In
Class?” Teacher : “No I Am Not Sleeping In Class.” Little Boy : “What Were You Doing Sir ?” Teacher : ” I Was Talking To God.” The Next Day The Naughty Boy Fell Asleep In
Class And The Same Teacher Walks Up To Him Teacher : “Young Man, You Are Sleeping In My
Class.” Little Boy : “No Not Me Sir, I Am Not Sleeping.” Angry Teacher: “What Were You Doing.??” Little Boy : “I Was Talking To God.” Angry Teacher: “What Did He Say??” Little Boy : “God Said He Never Spoke To You
Yesterday”

Good one.

Akpors: MTN people dey chop our
money too much
Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too
much
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of
using phone, why don't we use a
pigeon in sending messages like
the old time, just tie your
message to it's leg if you want to
reply
Ekaitte: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte
saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's
but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few
minutes it comes back, she
quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no
message again, she sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the window
for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but
still no message.
With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house
and shouted "Akpors come here, you idiot, you said
you will send message throughthis pigeon but why
the
three times it came to me, no message?!
Akpors: You don't get it oooh... It's
3 missed calls not message!!!!

Rossy sends her boyfriend Akpos who lives in
another town a letter which reads
"I am sorry , but i'm in love wit a
young ,cute,handsome, sexy, adorable , intelligent
and
awesome guy, so i want us to end our
relationship . Since i no longer love you , send
back my photos with you."
Akpos sends her a reply in return stamped
envelope containing 50 photos of different
girls . Akpos reply reads
"Sorry rossy, I don't Remember your face. So, please,
Kindly select your own photos and return
the Rest.
Thanks"

Akpos Knows too well!:
:
:
:
Ali is no longer a boy bcos Simbi is now a woman.
Edet is no more living in Calabar as he is now in
Abuja.
Agbo is presently working in Canada as he's no more
living in
d town of Lagoon.
Eze no longer goes school bcos he is
now a Graduate.
Mr sada is no longer a farmer cos his grand children
took him abroad.
Nkem and akpo now sells clothes @ aba mkt...
Wao! How time flies, if those names I mentioned are
strange to u; WHICH PRIMARY
SCHOOL DID U ATTEND? You missed a lot.
Happy democracy Day

So funny, I wonder what goes on in Akpors brain? Or does anyone know cause the guy be smart guy.

Akpos na guy man!!!!!!!!